By Candle Light, I am Led
by Ark Navy
Summary: A blade is still vicious regardless of wielder and foe. In the Torrent Forest, Lloyd becomes blinded by the blade of his own father and must learn to keep fighting for his cause in the dark.
1. Darkness

_By Candle Light, I am Led 

* * *

_

Summary: A blade is still vicious regardless of wielder and foe. In the Torrent Forest, Lloyd becomes blinded by the blade of his own father and must learn to keep fighting for his cause in the dark.

Spoilers: DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU HAVE FINISHED THE GAME.

A/N: **Reading this story takes a bit of flexibility with things that may be 'too abstract', so if you cannot accept that, do not read**. This'll be just a short story, nothing too big I hope. At most it'll be three chapters, but I really doubt that'll happen.

* * *

"So, you've come." Kratos says indifferently as he stands from his leaning against a tombstone of some sort, that's what it looks like, anyway.

I still can't believe this is happening. I still can't believe... "Is there no other way?"

He seems to be disgraced at my words, "Are you still thinking like that? You'll die if you fight against me with any doubt left in your heart." The way he says it, it's so final. He really means it...

I just sigh inwardly. "So... that's your way."

He does not move in any way, like a statue made of cold, wrought iron. But I guess four-thousand years of life can do that to a guy. "If you seek a pact with Origin, then you must defeat me."

I nod, even though I really don't look forward to this. "Everyone, I'll handle this."

He blinks; I think he's slightly surprised. "You're going to fight alone?"

"Yeah," I say, withdrawing my Angel Tears. "No more four-on-one, after all if it's a battle to the death..."

He pulls out his Flamberg, it's glowing with intent and my worst fears are confirmed. "This is it," he says, pointing his sword directly at me, "I'm not holding anything back."

All the fear and apprehension I've held back through our trek through the forest comes flooding over me and I have to take a stabilizing breath before responding, "I know," I swing one of my swords experimentally, more a nervous twitch than anything else. "I won't either,"

He begins so suddenly by unleashing a quick Double Demon Fang to keep me preoccupied while he casts. Instinctively I put up my swords to block the most of the waves, then dash towards him as he opens his eyes and yells, "Grave!"

The earth beneath me starts to tremble violently, and a spire juts forth just ahead of me, meaning I only have a few breathes before the next barrage comes. I leap out of the trap and grasp the tip of the first peak, using that to propel me forward. Just as I thought I was clear, a final strike manages to snare my right ankle. It cracks, twists and is smoldering to no end, but I have to ignore it for now.

He's still open for a hit after casting the spell. I manage to slash at him in mid-air and finish off with a Rising Falcon; he staggers back a bit from the blows, but that doesn't last long. Luckily, I manage to land on my good foot and can quickly launch another attack, however at the last possible second he puts up his shield and parries my attack.

There was no way I could avoid landing on my torn ankle, and crumple to a kneel as he stands before me, ready. I know what's coming, but I'm powerless to stop his onslaught of hits, ending with a devastating Super Lightning Blade. He then jumps back and begins casting again.

With great effort, I pick myself up and cautiously sidle towards him. I just have to wait until he casts, then run!

"Wind Blade!" Kratos commands, the once gentle breeze surrounding me stirs with unnatural prowess. As it picks up rapidly, I make a break for it and narrowly escape. My ankle is howling in agony, but if I can just hold up for a bit longer...

This time he leaves himself completely defenseless, open to my Tiger Rage and Raining Tiger Blade combination. Again, he stumbles and I decide to take a risk. If I succeed, I could sneak an Apple Gel while he's down.

I never thought about what would happen if I failed.

"Raging Be—Aagh!" Upon making my swivel to draw him in, he raised his blade and sliced across the back of my head. The cut runs deep; I don't need to feel the excruciating pain to know that.

He leans back to initiate a Fierce Demon Fang and restart his hail of attacks, but before he can bring his sword down, I swiftly thrust out my sword. It stabs him in the side and he falls to a knee. I can't see anything now, but I know it's over. I've won.

His breathes are jagged, as are mine. "You've... grown strong." He admits, sounding almost... proud?

I can't help but feel an unfamiliar swell of happiness inside; I keep it to myself though. "Thanks... to you."

His next breathes come even more ragged and agonizingly difficult before he says, "Aren't you," he pauses, for a moment he's in too much pain to continue. "...Going to finish me?"

Finish him off? I feel myself shaking my head, I could never do that. "I've defeated Kratos the angel, the one who betrayed us... and I forgive Kratos, the hero of the ancient war, who helped us." I sputter with growing obscurity. "That's all," I end breathlessly.

I hear him rise to his feet, "I thought I'd finally earned the right to die," he spits bitterly. "But you're as soft-hearted as ever..."

He's moving pitifully towards the stone, I can only hear his uneven steps. "Wait, Kratos! Are you going to release Origin's seal?" I blurt, allowing the apprehension I've kept inside to finally make itself known.

He stops, saying weakly, "That is what you desire... is it not?"

I'm shaking—at least I think I'm shaking, I can't tell anymore. "If you do that, you'll—"

He pays no attention to my words. His wings are drawn out and he's releasing the Mana from his body, I can feel the eons and eons of life draining from him and filling the air around us. It feels... relieving, though I'm anything but relieved.

His presence... disappears...

The warm blood from my wounds continues to trickle down my body and in the gaping silence I can hear it steadily drip, drip, drip in the dirt. It's the only thing I can register: _drip... drip... drip..._

Something—no, someone—rushes in. Kratos is saved; but by who though? I can hardly distinguish the voice. "He'll be fine, I gave him some of my mana." The voice is calm, cold... but mostly cold, as if I can feel it.

The next voice feels like a cold stream running over jagged rocks. "It looks like I've failed to die once more..." Context clues: it has to be Kratos.

"You stupid jerk! You can die anytime, but when you die, it's over!" That voice... is me? I sound tan, like a skin tone...

The frigidness returns, sheltering a small glint of yellow towards the stream-over-jagged-rocks. "You want him to live in eternal damnation?"

"Who said anything about that?" Brown... me again. "All I'm saying is that when you die, it's over! There is no point in dying!"

Purple shortly follows, plain and simple. The rocks from the stream seem to disappear as red tints the running water. "Yes... and to think I had to have my son teach me such an... obvious lesion."

The only red I can grasp at this moment though is a deep crimson; I know it's not the red that touches the stream. The red I can feel is warm and streaming down my back. The red I cannot reach is warm beneath the cold surface, gentle and brimming with vivacity.

The red I cannot reach...

A glacial blast of air comes from a tall, mountain, the voice rigid to the stroke. "You who lack the right," It bellows, "...I have lost faith in all humans. Have you come here to disappoint me as well?"

"Origin!" This sounds so achingly familiar... hot chocolate on a cold winter's evening next to a glowing blaze. "Are you bound to a pact by Mithos?"

"I was freed the moment Kratos released the Mana from his body,"

Everything's so cold... I can't concentrate. Waves of nausea and pain lap forebodingly at my feet, throwing me off balance. Am I sitting? Am I standing? I might be falling, but how from a sit?

Inability, thinking... Gone are the tiny waves: a tsunami in their wake... I can't hold on forever...

_**Lloyd**! 

* * *

_

The first thing I see when I finally awake is... well, no, that's a lie, I remind myself, I can't see. Especially not with this cloth wrapped over my eyes and around my head. At least I'm not aching anywhere. I'm totally pain free!

To test that, I shift into a sitting position; a slight rustiness in my muscles is about all I feel. How long have I been out anyway?

_Good Morning, Lloyd. You managed to get up quite quickly, that's good._

"Um, good morning?" I reply, a bit dazed. "Is it really the morning? It doesn't sound like the morning,"

_Hmm... Then what does it sound like?_

I pause for a moment, trying to focus in on any sounds. There are sounds—I can see them dancing—but what they are, is unclear. "I don't know, there are a few sounds, but evening maybe?"

The voice appears as a swift flight upwards into the sky, then a soft landing on a cloud. _Yes, there are sounds. Can you hear them?_

I shake my head, or maybe I nodded? I try to shake my head that is, though I'm not quite sure what direction it takes. "No," I say, "Oh, but maybe if I can just remove this blindfold, then—"

_No, you mustn't! _

I feel pressure on both my shoulders. Instinctively I thrust my arms out, shoving a body weight away and cross my arms in front of me for defensive. "What the hell was that? Where am I?"

Two sparrows are blissfully flying side by side until one violently strikes down the other, sending it spiraling down to earth until it lands. It hops to its tiny feet and tries to fly again, but a wing is broken. It hops weakly along the ground calling out to the other. _Lloyd, calm down. You're back in Meltokio, we're staying at Zelos' mansion. That was just me, don't worry._

And then it hits me: I'm missing a vital piece to the puzzle, "Who are you!" I blurt angrily. I don't mean to offend the person. I just feel so helpless...

_Don't you recognize my voice?_

"I can't hear you, remember?" I answer gruffly, "Your words are all I hear, not your voice!"

_Lloyd... _

The person is emitting swarms of yellow with strong flares of red, although it's swept up by fierce storms of black. This compels me; I drop my stance and look away. Or maybe I'm looking at them now... I only have inklings of a clue as to where they really are. "I... I'm sorry. Everything's just so different... just, please, tell me who you are..."

Sky blue laces their words, even though they don't speak. They don't need to, I can tell they are giving me their sincerest... sincerest sky blue.

"Why can't you tell me?"

_It's up to you to discover who I am, just consider it part of your recovery process. _

"...Huh? ...Huh?"

_When you recover your ability to hear and distinguish sounds, then you will be able to tell me who I am by the sound of my voice. Either that, or if you regain your sight and tell me the color of the cloth that is wrapped over your eyes, I'll remove it and you can see for yourself._

That's such a long process to go through, there has to be a shortcut. "Can I guess?"

_Can you remember any of our names?_

I never thought it was possible to miss biting your lower lip. "Uum..."

Calm ocean waters; the sounds of their soft footsteps retreat and grow smaller, then return and expand respectively. Retreating, returning, retreating, returning... They must be preoccupied with something.

We are both silent for a while, I'm trying to figure things out in my head while they work on something. Judging by the yellow sounds, it seems to be in preparation.

_Lloyd... do you remember what we did yesterday?_

"Yeah," I say distantly. "I fought Kratos and we freed Origin. Why?"

_...That... was not yesterday._

"It... wasn't? H-how long have I been out?"

_You were only out for a day before you regained consciousness... a week ago._

I remain quite for a moment, waiting for them to say that that's not true. When they don't, I say, "You're silver, aren't you?"

_I am... silver? Lloyd, are you... hearing colors?_

I look down, at where I think I am. Black and gold is seeping out of invisible pores... "I-I'm not crazy... I'm really not."

I feel a soft company on my shoulder; I don't stop it or try and retract for it's pure yellow. No, no, it's pure... pure... "I don't hear colors..." I whisper, completely black, "I think... I think I see emotions."

Now I know it's not pure yellow that I see: it's pure concern.


	2. My Hallowed Flare

**By Candle Light, I am Led 

* * *

**

**A/N:** Welp, this is it. The final chapter of this two-shot—though, I guess that's kinda obvious. Personally, I really liked writing this and I would continue it if I could, but with the ending I chose, it'd be an extremely difficult task. ...No,the main character doesn'tdie in this one, sheesh!

**Post Note**: You may be wondering who exactly the romance is in this story is with, but I think I've dropped enough hints. :)

* * *

A few more days passed, slowly, but I'm glad I took those days off. Though, it gave me the feeling of being in rehab—even though technically I am. The first day, I had to relearn all the basics, like hand coordination, walking, and object identification. I was surprised to find that without my sight, I had no idea where my own nose was! I mean, I know it's between my eyes, but in order to know that, you need to know where your ears are. Really, who can feel their ears?

Then came walking, and I realized my ankle still hadn't fully recovered. As soon as I had stood, I begun to stumble back onto the bed; I had laughed, but they sounded extremely black—which I later translated as fear—and apologized profusely, saying it was their fault for they should've known that would happen. It had been swollen beyond recognition after the fight: all blue, black, red-ish like the skin of a zombie.

_After all_, they added, _you did sever an imperative ligament. It's a miracle you even have your foot following all the first aid we had administered._

What? I tore my leg that had been peppered with mints? What? Then they told me with a giggle that it was something like a muscle; I was kinda close...

So I tried standing again, with more care this time. My ankle was a bit weak, but if I could maintain my balancing act I would be successful. That in itself took a while to master before we moved on to actual walking. As if I wasn't bad enough with my vision, without it I was a complete disaster. They would help me balance while I learned where and where not to place my foot. The first couple of times I'd either step too far from myself and feel like a penguinist, or I'd step too close to myself and trip over my standing leg. Luckily, they were always there to catch me (...sorta). So once I got used to my own stride, walking was a breeze again...

...Until I ran into an end table.

That was the first—painful—lesson about object identification: There is always something waiting to get in your way. They started out by placing a few varying objects in my hand and asked me if I could tell them what they were. The first one was smooth and spherical, so it had to be a ball. They took it from me, saying that it was actually a kirima; how was I supposed to know that?

After that, they'd said, _Now, I am only guessing on this, but I think emotions can act like condensed energy and vice versa. So, tell me what you see when I do this..._

Suddenly a swift flash of black appeared, resulting in a devastating blow.

_Oops..._

"What?"

_N-Nothing... what did you see?_

"Well, it was quick and black, almost like... a strike." I'd said, shrugging. "But what happened that caused you to say 'oops'? There was a jagged noise, but..."

_You're right. I struck the end table with anger. It, uh... did not hold up._

My mouth hung slightly ajar, "You broke the end table?" I had exclaimed.

_That's not the point. When I did that, you saw black... That must mean black is associated with anger._

I gave this a moment of thought. It sounded plausible, but looking back, I remembered that when I had discovered exactly what I was 'seeing' I had black surround me. I wasn't angry at the moment... "No," I'd said, "Well, maybe. When I told you what I was seeing, I saw black surrounding me. I definitely wasn't angry then."

_Hmm... Anger and fear are kinda the same thing, so that would make sense._

I frowned, "They aren't, are they? ...How so?"

_The only reason you become angry is because you fear something might happen. For instance, in battle if somebody gets knocked out, we become angry at our adversary for we fear having anyone get injured. How about that?_

"Oh, yeah."

* * *

After another day, they decide it's high time I get out of the house and back into the real world. Personally, I was elated to finally get back to something that was normal for me. They, however, were somewhat apprehensive.

I never realized how hard it was talking step after step without crossing yourself and managing to keep your strides even until now. At least I have someone to guide me. Though I do feel like a bit more empathy for the klutz in our group—what was their name? Co... Col... Cole? Coleen?

_Oh, Lloyd! Thank goodness you're okay! Can you see?_

This voice is laced with yellow—concern—and almost suffocated by enormous blobs of pink. Pink, now what is pink? "Uum, kind of, but not really..."

_What's that supposed to mean?_ He asks with great gold. Gold, now seeing as it goes along with a question, it must be curiosity or something of the sort.

_Don't pester him too much!_

_I wasn't!_

"Hey, have you made the pact with Origin, yet?" I inquire; it's a question that's been eating away at me for quite a while now. I don't want to be a burden and slow everyone down. The worlds can't wait for my little injury to heal, that's ridiculous!

_No, even if we wanted to, we couldn't. Origin wouldn't fight us without you in the party,_ says someone with a very tan nature, like me. So I guess tan and brown are kind of lax-ish. _Some'n 'bout you being the secondary pact maker with Sh—shee... zhee uhzaa Summonah!_ They finish in a very odd way. Oh goddess, this is such a gimme if I could only remember the name...!

"You won't even say each other's names around me? Come on, that's just not fair!"

_When you remember, we'll use them again._

I run a hand through my hair in frustration, "But I'd remember them sooner if you'd just tell me!"

_Oh, brother…_

_At least you haven't changed too drastically, Lloyd._ That voice was kind of cold, but by no means uncaring. Reminds me of… Krraa… someone. Man, this is way harder than I thought…

This brings up another question: "What exactly happened after I collapsed that day?"

No one speaks for some time, there's a visible white aura surrounding and darting between them. White must be some sort of hesitancy, unwillingness, secrecy or something like that; it's annoying. "What happened?"

Finally, the person next to me—the one who's been taking care of me—says in an unstable sky blue tone, _We… that is, after you collapsed… carried you back to Meltokio and summoned for the doctor. He did all he could but… Well, while that was going on, we met back with Kratos at your house and he gave us the necessary ingredients to make the ring of the pact. He'd been collecting all materials to create it from around the world… Then the doctor called us back to Meltokio with news…Kratos followed us; he didn't know what'd happened, but thought you had merely collapsed from exhaustion. _

When they stopped, I urge them on. I need to know what happen, they shouldn't keep anything from me. "Go on, please,"

_P-please, I-I'd rather not…_

"No, I have to know!"

_Not now, you don't!_ Another voice argues. They, too, are swarmed by white, black and navy—hesitancy, fear and… sorrow.

"Why!" I blurt angrily. "What are you trying to hide from me? Honestly, I don't even know if you guys are real or not, I don't know what to believe anymore! The more you conceal from me, thinking it's for my benefit, just makes me even more confused… Reality is cruel, that's a well-known fact by all of us, but in a fantasy, everything's okay and nothing's muddled. I know I'm not crazy, I'm not, I'm not…"

Still they're all overcome with hesitancy, except for a warm, shining red located in the deep center of the person next to me. _Okay,_ they finally utter.

_The doctor had been doing intense treatment on you, along with our healers, for the first day with only little success. Even Tethe'alla's advancements in technology and medicine could prove no use in your situation. When we arrived, he had you veiled in black sheets. He told us the raw truth… that even if you did somehow miraculously awaken, you wouldn't be you, but just a lifeless shell. You—or rather, your body—would search and search for a another soul; in other words, you'd kill anything and everything in your path. _

They went on, _Then, if you weren't to awaken, you'd just… be. You'd never live again, nor would you die, like an exsphere: the object of your greatest spite. We had the rest of the day to decide what to do, and decided it would be best if we… if we euthanized you._

I don't know exactly what the word 'euthanize' means, but I can only assume…_ It was a… tough decision, but it had to be done. We proposed to do it at dawn of the next day so we could pay our respects and say farewell before… _They pause, unwilling to admit._ When dawn came, we gathered in the room, except for Kratos. We had figured he'd rather not see his son be put to death, so we carried on._

_Just as we were about to commence, he heard a gasp of pain coming from the other room. At once, you sprung to life, clutching your chest and breathing heavily as if you'd just been wounded. We watched helplessly as you seemed to struggle to cling to life, but little by little you calmed down. You kept mumbling, 'Don't kill me, please, don't kill me' in a frantic plea. Then, when Sebastian investigated the room adjacent to us, he came to us saying Kratos… Kratos had committed suicide by removing his exsphere and stabbing himself in the heart._

The red shining within them grows substantially to engulf any sorrow they still carry as they add, _He held a note in his hand, it said: 'Live long and succeed… my son,'. _

Everything is silent as I process this information. Kratos, my father, took his own life—_he killed himself_—so I could live? That's what he wanted to do from the start I suppose, but he had agreed with me! 'When you die, that's the end! There is no point in dying,' I had said, and he'd replied, 'And to think I had to have my son teach me such an obvious lesson,'

I had vowed for no more sacrifices, and yet everyone is sacrificing themselves for me. It just doesn't make sense, everything's so surreal.

But that's how I know this is all genuine. Kratos had made his decision not based on a life being over, but so one could continue. Mine.

"Thank you… for telling me," I say slowly, "Now, let's go get Origin and end this once and for all."

* * *

It's been a difficult journey, but we've all managed to pull through somehow. I don't know how everyone else managed, even with their sight and hearing, it was grating on their emotions. They stood by me, and I by them.

Before this incident, there was no doubt that I was the leader of our group, a role to which I was predominantly ill-suited. With their help, I led them through thick and thin valiantly. All for one and one for all, even through heart throbbing betrayals and deaths.

But then who would follow a blind leader? Still they trusted me to lead them, while I, too, needed to be led myself. Luckily, the goddess Martel blessed our cause and gave me a glimmer candle light to guide through the darkness.

My hallowed flare: glowing with a center of yellow for her care and dedication to me even through the worst of crises, wrapped in a comforting layer of orange for her contentment. Above all else though, a warm red. Red for love.

Someday, I'll remember her, I will overcome what has befallen me and when that happens, maybe—just maybe—life can continue as it was, and everything will be back to normal.

Or maybe I won't remember. I guess I'll just have to meet them all over again.


End file.
